Being in the moment is something that I personally struggle with both in and out of bed. I'm better...believe me. I spent the first part of my life worrying and planning for tomorrow while ignoring what was right in front of me.
While working in Europe it translated into worrying about my next trip home instead of enjoying my pub time. In bed it was just my mind racing ahead about what was next. There were times when I could be in the moment..but not often.
Even now I have trouble if we're having more vanilla sex. If we're doing PSE stuff like role playing, anal, or if I'm giving what we call the special BJ, I can be there and feel really connected. But often if its just the before sleep daily sex...my mind wanders and I start daydreaming about other things.
there is another woman in bed with us and I'm watching DH with her or DH is watching her and me or I'm being ravished by some fantasy person...like a hero from one of my stories.
Is this bad? Am I denying DH some sort of connection when I do this?
Since its so ungodly hot out here in the Sunshine State, park days with the home*school group have been avoided during the summer. There are those of us that still get together at indoor places so the kids can play and we can chat.
Our favorite place? Charles E. Fromage (ie Chucky.E.Cheese)
They serve beer.
So we were there were four moms and my DH there today. Tons of kids...seems like every daycare and summer camp was there having an end of summer party so we sat way in the back in an alcove away from some of the chaos.
One of the moms is having a milestone birthday next month so we were planning what to do to celebrate. The consensus (we let the birthday girl have some say) is that we're renting a limo (with a pole and bar), my DH gets to be the token guy that will allow us into the two totally nude clubs (but he has to wear a collar), and then end at our favorite gay bar.
We decided this while sitting at our 'park day' at the cheesy rodent.
Any of you watch True Blood? It's one of my favorite shows on right now. DH got interested in it before Season 2 started so we went back and watched all of Season 1 in a one week kids-are-in-bed marathon.
In case you haven't seen it, there are several scenes that are very sexual explicit..topless Anna Paquin is a sight that should make anyone, male or not, sexual aroused.
Anyway...last weeks episode had some very adult scenes including an orgy. But it wasn't a *hot* orgy..it was pretty creepy. Post True Blood sex that night...and DH couldn't climax...could barely keep an erection. In the 20 years we've been together this has NEVER happened. I asked what the problem was...and DH said he couldn't keep that night's orgy scene from his mind and it made it difficult for him.
I actually thought about not watching last night's episode but DH was waiting for so we did. Nothing too bad...but during another Anna topless scene (which DH used to drool over) he kept making squishy face. "you don't think *she* is hot?" I asked.
"She's in bed with a vampire. No"
I turned it off right there....HBO ain't gonna be messing with my sex life anymore. Just like I declare some shows offlimits to my kids...I now declare True Blood off limits to hubby.
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Sex has been good but nothing extraordinary like having sex with a strange woman. Had some stripper titties in my face but that's not all that abnormal anymore.
What's been grabbing my interest lately is politics....I've been way into the health care debate. But there is a bit of crossover today. Rumor is, according to Politco, John Edwards is going to fess up and admit that the 18 month child of his former mistress is his child.
What chaps my ass isn't that he cheated on his cancer-ridden wife. It's that he keeps fucking lying about it. First it didn't happen, then it was one time, then the affair was over before Skank-Whore got pregnant. Yes, I called her Skank-Whore....a quick review of her life shows her to be an opportunist. I bet she thinks she won the lottery getting knocked up by Mr. Hair.
And John Edwards was willing to take his family down with him...Anyone with two brain cells knows that this stuff comes out during a campaign and yet he put his wife and kids out there knowing that this could happen.
Didn't realize it'd been so long since I've posted. It's been crunch time getting a website done and DH was out of town on some job interviews. No offers probably for the jobs but at least he's getting some attention. I've also been spending an incredible amount of time on Facebook filling out stupid memes and uploading photos of stuff as mundane as our homemade donuts.
Anyway...things have been fine on the sex front for me. There was some minor drama in the HS community over my rejection of L. Evidently I led her on. *insert eyeroll here* You know what I want? A man with tits. Someone into no strings fun and no drama.
DH has been eating me every night just about. The joy of eating pussy is a recent revelation to me. Between Ron's blog and my own experience I totally get how letting someone go down on my can be a *giving* thing. Last night, after we were rudely awakened by a 2AM visitor at the door, DH was having a hard time getting back to sleep so he scooted down to the end of the bed, pushed my shorts to the side and started licking the bare area. The hottest thing? When he would just breathe right above my clit. I swear...I saw stars.
When I was getting close, DH roughly (for him) pulled me to the edge of the bed and shoved himself inside my gasping pussy. I think it was 3 hard full strokes and I was having the climax of my life...it felt like it lasted forever. As I floated back to earth, DH pulled me up by my hands, had me stand at the edge of the bed, and swiftly pulled down my shorts. Knowing what DH wanted I bent over the bed as he entered me...while I stood on my toes and moved my legs together. It wasn't long before I could feel DH getting ready to cum..and he did with a very loud groan (usually he's silent...I'm the noisy one).
Was this anywhere near as rough as I'd like to try? eh..no. But it was more than DH has ever done before...the action of him taking down my shorts was very hot to me. But baby steps are better than nothing..it shows that he's interested in satisfying my sexual interests and that means a lot.
I'm an unabashed book-reading, NPR-listening, latte-sipping, brie-eating liberal homeschooling mom interested in exploring her sexuality. Met DH early in college so I didn't get to do the whole college lesbian thing. Change scares me but at the same time, it makes me feel alive. Physically? Nasty, brutish, and short (Thank you Hobbes)