Saturday, August 22, 2009

What do you think about?

Or do you even think during sex?

Being in the moment is something that I personally struggle with both in and out of bed. I'm better...believe me. I spent the first part of my life worrying and planning for tomorrow while ignoring what was right in front of me.

While working in Europe it translated into worrying about my next trip home instead of enjoying my pub time. In bed it was just my mind racing ahead about what was next. There were times when I could be in the moment..but not often.

Even now I have trouble if we're having more vanilla sex. If we're doing PSE stuff like role playing, anal, or if I'm giving what we call the special BJ, I can be there and feel really connected. But often if its just the before sleep daily mind wanders and I start daydreaming about other things.


there is another woman in bed with us and I'm watching DH with her
DH is watching her and me
I'm being ravished by some fantasy a hero from one of my stories.

Is this bad? Am I denying DH some sort of connection when I do this?


Alfro said...

Yes, but only because you asked nice, and the birthday girl deserves it. Not because I'm some sissy boy....

Now I'm really thinking I've got to get you and the wife together. She still worries and plans all the time, and I don't think she is ever in the "Now". Maybe you could teach her how you did it.

I'm pretty sure DH won't care if your mind wanders to having another girl in bed with you and him. I know I would be thinking that while with you, so you'll be fine.

So..., you have been writing about me in your stories... Just make sure to spell the name correctly in the next one. Al***

HSMom said...

I don't think I can teach someone how to be in the now. And it won't change unless she wants it to.

For me, living a life of joy is very important and not being in the Now was keeping me from doing it. When I hear my little voice saying "What if..." or "I don't know what's next" I make a serious effort to shut that voice down by reaching out to the person or people I'm with. Naked titties help :)