Because Alfro Asked So Nicely

I don't have the body of a stripper but I've yet to meet one with my brains so I guess there's a bit of a trade-off.

I am not saying that all strippers are stupid but most of them have not been afforded the same opportunities that I have. I'm sure that every single stripper Ron has ever met went to law school in her free time while trying to cure world hunger. I will say, IME, Florida strippers do tend to be hotter if not smarter.

Anyway...I have a really nice one that I would also like to post but it seems a bit explicit for the front page. I may edit oneof my old posts and put it back there.

Anyone Know How To...

Schedule posts? I've been playing with this all weekend as I was going to have stuff post while I'm gone.

To be honest, I'm not looking forward to this trip. DH and I hail from the Chicago area so this means lots of familial FOG (fear obligation guilt). My inlaws are just so different than us its unreal. We're the low end hippies...and they're on the boards of all the right charities. I'm also not very good at ignorning the elephant in the middle of the room...stuff just needs to be talked about, dealt with, and put away. That isn't how they prefer to operate. So, I'll need to pretend I don't know about my SIL's legal issues resulting from her illegal behavior...I'll gloss over the information that my BIL is having another breakdown. The important stuff will be that I'm too fat, don't wear much designer, and homeschool.


On the plus side most of our friends from college ended up there so we're going to have fun with that. There is a totally nude club there that has a couples free night that we're going to with some friends. DH and I have already decided that going back to the vip area together with a girl for 40 minutes is probably out of the question due to our friends being with us. But I did tell DH that since I was putting up with two family together events *I* can go back for 40 minutes with a girl of my choice and he can hear about it.

I'm such a kind wife, am I not?

Friday Fill-In

And...here we go!

1. She had a great ass. That would be the girl that DH and I spotted at the same time when I dropped him off at the airport.

2. One of my furbabies is by my side, always.

3. I know this: I love anal sex

4. I want romance still.

5. These words apply to me: conflicted, smart, short, middleaged.

6. Unfortunately the sun was shining.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to DH coming home, tomorrow my plans include sex in the back of my car after we drop the kids off at the sitter and Sunday, I want to start packing for our trip to Chicago!

My current crush...

I'm totally over the sparkly vampire....I've moved on to a drug dealer!

Anyone watch Weeds? The protaganist is a woman who became a pot dealer after her husband died in order to maintain their upper middle class lifestyle. 4 seasons later she's in love...with the head honcho drug dealer.

And I'm totally crushing on the sociopathic drug dealer. He's a short guy (and I never dated anyone under 6ft) dark hair...and all man. I'm so into the dominant thing again.

Last night DH was out of town for an interview so I did a screen freeze of the actor's face as I used my rabbit. I kept imagining him pushing my head down on his desk while taking me from behind and when I struggle a bit leaning forward and whispering dark threats involving spanking and other naughtiness.

When I use Mr. Rabbit, the orgasms tend to be more functional in their release. this time? Took a little longer but it was great. Got the build up that knots my stomach...the light beads of persperation on the back of my neck...and the the ongoing feeling of climax. It was almost as good as it is with a human.

TMI Tuesday #192

What an interesting (and thought provoking) set of TMI questions.

1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?

I don't know how to answer this one. This may not be a great girl response but I'm discovering the difference between sex and connection. Not sure that I want a 'connection' with anyone new...just new and exciting sexual experiences. I wouldn't stay if it was so loveless that we were crabby all the time but I can see being casual with someone...being OK with it...and staying in that sort of 'loveless' relationship for some time.

2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body numbing sex?

Love...can't imagine enjoying body numbing sex so much that I'd give up the partnership that I have with DH

3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?

There was a guy, that I'm still friends with, that is probably my soul mate but we would have made horrid partners. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like now if I'd made a different choice. I was always pretty quick to dump so there's no one that should have gone sooner.

4. if you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” to?
DH no question

5. Which is more important sex, money, love and happiness? (and no, you can’t pick’em all)

in order of importance to me:

happiness
love
sex
money

The main source of conflict in our marriage has been money...and the fact I don't care about it. I don't need fancy hairstylists, the huge house, the right clothes...that's just not me. DH has always wanted to provide for me and is only now realizing that I don't care so much about the money...I'd rather have him around. It's been a source of frustration that he tries to give me stuff and then I'm not totally appreciative.

Was it hot?

I don't know how warm it is where you are but its crazy hot here. And I live in a place where people know hot...so it means lots of days hanging at the community pool (since it has a big slide for the kids) and enjoying the MILF eye candy. One of the advantages of living in a golf club community :)

But you're not really interested in that...are you? You want to hear about my date with L.

I was very tightly wound the whole day...couldn't decide what to wear..and started thinking that maybe I should claim a headache so I wouldn't have to go. What was really bothering me?... we are mom group friends and I don't like to shit where I eat. This is all very uncharacteristic behavior. Usually I'm so laid back that people say (up north) that I have a Type Z personality. Of course, here in the sunshine state I'm considered pretty type A.

Anyway...we meet up, dinner went fine once I realized that we were still the same people we are at the beach. Lots of girlfriend talk about men, our sexual experiences, and a long discussion about dressy sandals.

Eventually we finish with our dessert and leave. And in the car while discussing what we're doing next, she leans over to 'wipe away some chocolate' and kisses me. Nothing...I felt nothing. All the doubts and squicky feelings I had earlier that day came rushing back. When her hand started going up under my shirt, I gently pushed it away and gave a 'its not you, its me' speech.

I like messing around with strippers...not mom friends. Now my big problem is how to reconcile that with my feminist ideals. That's a topic for another day.

I have a date...kinda?

In light of my previous post....

It's not cheating if its in the contract, right? (Believe it or not I wrote the bulk of that post back in November). This weekend I'm going out on my first 'date' in 20 years....with a woman. We met through one of my mom groups and at the beach days have been enjoying putting sunscreen on one another (DH is very pleased watching that..almost as much as the park day where the bi girl with fake boobs let me feel them up to see what they were like).

She's living with her partner in a very open arrangement and she has LOTS of experience with this. The phone call where she asked me out was really an attempt to have all four of us get together. DH wasn't open to this...at least yet. And frankly I'm not interested all that much in new penis. DH is really good and I can't help but wonder if any other cock is going to be a disappointment. I'm just *so* old fashioned! :)

Anyway..we're going out for dinner and I expect there might be some making out in the car later. Any suggestions on how far to go? First base? DH is hoping for a home run but car sex has never been my thing.

God I'm nervous. What if its an epic fail? Will we still be cool with one another at the mom events? At least our kids don't like each other much so we wouldn't have that wierdness.

Cheater Blogs

DH and I were talking about a particular genre of blogs I like...cheater blogs.

As I've stated before, in my experience, the guys who do this are looking for something MORE. The "more" is described in different ways...less vanilla sex, quantity of sex, greater level of intimacy.

Our discussion was, "Are those grounds to break the contract?" We both view marriage as a contract. It's open to renegotiation and addendums but it has to be signed on the dotted line by both parties. Violation of that can create huge penalties.

Me fooling around with a stripper? Not a violation because we talked about it before hand and our contract was changed to allow it. DH being with another woman in the context of a threesome? Fine, its in our contract. Me going out and picking up a guy at a bar for a random blow job? Not cool and a gross violation of the contract.

The contract really is communication. DH wonders why the guys who do cheat don't have an honest conversation and some realistic expectations. Back when we were in our dark time and DH was NOT getting what he wanted sexually, he sucked it up. I wasn't thrilled with things either. The guys who aren't getting what they want at home probably haven't stopped to think their wives probably aren't either.

But (and I have a nice one!) what about when a partner is unable/unwilling to acknowledge the partner's sexual needs and yet refuses them the freedom to take care of business? Dan Savage had a great column where the husband wasn't getting any because the wife had medical treatment and never wanted sex again. "Better or worse" goes both ways. If DH wasn't putting out the way he is...I'd go looking because I'm not going to spend my sexual prime on the bench.

Wonder if I'll be so zen about it when menopause hits and I'm a hormonal mess.

Friday Fill-In #128

Before I get all lazy and use a meme to write a post...last night I came so hard that I got dizzy. DH went down on me, we had sex (I came), he went BACK down on me and I came again very quickly, then finally poor DH got some release (with me on my stomach while he held my arms behind my back) We woke up this AM an hour before the boys so DH got to take some more photos using the sunlight and then fucked me bent over the counter in the bathroom(so he could see my titties in the mirror while taking me from behind)

1. I grew up thinking vampires lived in my basement.

2. dailymail.co.uk was the last website I was at before coming here.

3. Why don't you spank me more? (That was directed at DH)

4. Doing needlework helps me relax.

5. Thanks for the fantastic naan you made yesterday.

6. A2M is very off-putting.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going out with friends , tomorrow my plans include having a date night with DH and Sunday, I want to catch up on my television!

No I didn't die

But I thought about it.

My marriage didn't break up.

We're all healthy.

But some life changes happened. All those people getting laid off? DH was one of them. Unlike many, we have rainy day savings but the initial shock was horrible. His industry is even more in the crapper than most. He gets interviewed, they love him, and then there is a hiring freeze. His office is now our bedroom closet. Before you feel to sorry for him, keep in mind its bigger than my freshman dorm room was and it had to house two people.

After the adjustment period, I decided I liked this unemployment thing. Our sex life (contrary to what all the experts say) has been amazing. At least once a day, sometimes as many as 3-4 times. DH's fave was when I was taking a shower and said, "Sweetie, I'm really horny but kinda messy from my period, would you be willing to fuck me in the ass instead?" Do you think he said no?

As DH has more time to service me, I've had less time since I've picked up some freelance 'puter stuff. This was after several soul-crushing attempts to find a low level clerical job. Even when DH finds a job I think I'll stay with it as I really enjoy the people.

But the real reason I haven't posted in so long? I forgot my login for this blogger account. Yes, totally blanked it after not posting for 8 weeks. Just spent some time this AM figuring it out.

I have some great pictures...especially love the one with cum all over my face (but won't post that one since it shows my face) so hopefully I'll be posting stuff over the next few days.